I’m quoted by “The Wedding Secret”
Personalising your civil wedding ceremony can take many forms. I’ve been quoted in this article by the lovely people at “The Wedding Secret” . What follows is a discussion of their article. Perhaps this will help if you want to personalise your civil wedding ceremony. By the way, last year I wrote an article on a similar theme – this is it “Free Advice – AKA My Son’s Getting Married”
The Wedding Secret article describes the restrictions of a registrar – led ceremony. They mention that “If you stick with the essential legal procedure and formula of words that the registrar must include, civil ceremonies can be super short.” They also refer to a “registry office” – I’m being pedantic but it’s a “Register Office”. The article lists the do’s and don’ts of registrar ceremonies. They note that you can have exceptions such as a boat, but you have to apply for them. The article then goes on to list the ways you can make a ceremony personalised to you.
Use A Celebrant
I’m glad to say that “use a celebrant” is top of their list of ways to make your ceremony truly “yours”. They describe the difference between a celebrant ceremony and legal marriage nicely (it was me who told them after all!). I’ve heard celebrant ceremonies likened to buying a house. Signing the contract for the house is exciting but having the key on your hand and walking through the door for the first time is the really thrilling part. Similarly, signing the marriage contract is meaningful, but the wedding day is where you feel the thrill and excitement of what it all means.
Choose your celebrant
Wedding Secret says, “There is arguably nothing that allows for a more personal ceremony than opting for a celebrant.” Of course, I’d remove the word “arguably”! However, do make sure you get the right celebrant for you! Check they’re properly trained with full accreditation. Only an accredited celebrant has the training to create a fully bespoke ceremony which really speaks to you and your tribe. You get to choose who you’ll have on this most important of days, so do choose!
Interview us over the phone. Look at our websites. Speak to a few before you decide whom to go with. May I suggest you don’t go purely on price. This is not the place to try and save a tiny proportion of your budget! The right celebrant will make your day. The wrong one could be pretty disastrous. By the time your wedding arrives, you will feel you know your celebrant more as a friend than someone who’s there simply to officiate your ceremony. As far as I know, you don’t get to choose which registrar you use unless it’s someone you know personally of course.
Personalisation of your Ceremony
The touches you can make have been written about many times, and Wedding Secret discusses music and reading choices as well as personalising the décor. You can create a sense of theatre with decor, but an added “Wow” comes from a great celebrant ceremony. If you’re having a registrar marriage ceremony, you will know what the content is, so will be able to find appropriate readings. But if the readings are really “about you” they probably won’t link directly with the ceremony content. Likewise music can be chosen for the right moments, but will it be relevant to the ceremony?
Within “my” ceremonies, I make it my business to suggest readings once I’ve got to know you. For example, a couple whose wedding is next month didn’t know what they wanted. I found two which reflect their story and they’re including both. If you know which readings you want, I’ll write parts of the ceremony around them, to ensure they’re relevant. It means the ceremony flows, there aren’t stops for readings which though romantic, are fairly random in their content!
The article doesn’t mention a feature which celebrant led weddings are well known for: Symbolism. This isn’t surprising since their feature is trying to give ways of personalising a civil marriage ceremony. It’s unlikely that you’ll be given the option, and if you were you’d probably be the one leading on it. So, if you’d like to include anything from candle-lighting to sand-pouring to hand-fasting, ask a celebrant!
Confidence to be You
You may feel happy to personalise your civil wedding ceremony. Some couples don’t have the confidence to personalise their own ceremony, but know they’d like something different. This is exactly why they’ve found me since they know that’s what I’ll bring – a wedding ceremony to remember.