Evening is falling over the loved up James and Mace

You’ve chosen a gorgeous château nestled in the rolling countryside of Occitanie, in the historic region of Gascony, in south west France. Friends relax in the sun-soaked gardens, of the Chateau de Puissentut, glasses in hand. You and your fiancé are finally ready in cool linen suits as the heat of the day retreats into a warm, honeyed light. Nearby, the old pigeonnier — where you will soon exchange vows — waits patiently.

The stage is set for Mace and James’ Golden Hour wedding

The stage is set. The music begins.

The wonderful Antony Holloway played the boys in and out of their ceremony

This was the scene for the wedding of James and Mace, who travelled to Château de Puissentut to formalise their commitment to one another. They invited a small but beautifully formed group of friends, all of whom had journeyed from the USA or further afield, to witness their ceremony.

Mace and James in their ceremony

A Destination Wedding in Occitanie

James and Mace wanted their ceremony to tell their story — not only their love for one another, but also the deep bonds they share with their family and friends.

During our pre-ceremony conversations, we hatched a plan to invite loved ones to contribute directly to the ceremony. Six friends and family members were asked to share their thoughts and feelings about the love-match that is James and Mace.

Smiles and laughter as a guest tells her story

As ever, I had no idea how I was going to weave these voices together until I sat down to write. The speakers represented a cross-section of old friends, newer friends, and family. The result was a rich, layered ceremony — a telling of James and Mace’s journey, interspersed with heartfelt reflections on friendship, belonging, and the joy of welcoming new partners into long-standing relationships.

Love shone between the speakers and the grooms

A Ring Blessing Filled With Love

James and Mace chose to highlight the importance of everyone present by including a ring blessing ritual.

During this beautiful moment, the wedding rings were passed from hand to hand. Each guest held them close, silently offering a blessing — whether from the heart, from faith, or simply from love. By the time the rings returned, they were imbued with the collective goodwill of everyone gathered there.

It’s a simple ritual, but one that never fails to add depth and meaning to the exchange of rings.

Contemplation as friends bless the wedding rings

Personal, Playful Wedding Vows

The pinnacle of any wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows. Many couples write their own; others prefer familiar, traditional promises. James and Mace chose something a little different.

I asked them, secretly, to write down three reasons why they love one another. During the ceremony, they promised to continue doing the very things their partner cherished most.

With their permission, here’s a real example.

James wrote that he loves Mace because:
“No matter how weird I get, you’re right there being weird with me.”

So I asked:

“Mace, do you promise to keep being weird with James — unapologetically, wonderfully weird?”

His “I do” landed perfectly.

Laughter even during the vows

Their final vow was a playful variation on the traditional:

“Do you promise to love James/Mace, comfort him, celebrate and support him — whether the skies are glittering or grey, whether your pockets are jingling or just full of fluff — in sickness, in health, and in all the magical messes in between?”

It worked a treat.

A Ceremony Full of Heart (and Cheese and Wine)

After a few words about the future James and Mace hope to build together — and a moment of silliness involving cheese and wine (you really had to be there!) — the ceremony drew to a close.

One final surprise remained: a message from Mace’s parents, read aloud by his brother, telling him how proud they are of the man he has become. There were few dry eyes.

Applause as the setting sun shines on James and Mace’s first kiss

Then came the first kiss (surely it’s time we found a less antiquated phrase for such a joyful moment!) and the joyful exit of the grooms, showered with confetti and goodwill.

Leaving the pigeonnier in a shower of confetti

Celebrations at Château de Puissentut

The wonderful hosts, Angela and Dirk, were already busy preparing for the celebrations to follow. I lingered for a while, chatting with guests, admiring the champagne tower pour, and enjoying the spectacularly good apéros.

A champagne tower – a great French tradition!

It was another unforgettable wedding ceremony at Château de Puissentut, filled with warmth, laughter, and love.

Thank you to James and Mace for inviting me into their day, and to their family and friends for giving their time and hearts so generously.

A beautiful evening followed in the Chateau de Puissenut garden

Thank you to Darek Smietana for the wonderful pictures

To Antony Holloway for his excellent playing (and flexibility!)

And to Angela and Dirk at Chateau de Puissentut for making everyone so relaxed before I’d even started!

The post Whimsical Golden Hour Wedding at Château de Puissentut, Occitanie appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

We need to show our support

It’s about time I put myself out there and shouted that yes, I AM happy to create your ceremony no matter who you are. I always have been, and have had many happy days creating ceremonies for same-gender couples. (All women as it happens, I’ve no idea why.) Basically “Love is love” is our LGBTQIA+ policy. But for reasons I’ll explain, it’s taken until now to give myself permission to publicise this fully.

I haven’t felt the need to write about my support of the LGBTQIA+ community. I hadn’t, until now, placed rainbow flags on my website. I’ve always lived in very rural places (West Wales now France) as a celebrant. There’s been no opportunity to attend “alternative” wedding fairs or have a wide circle of gay friends to vouch for my allyship (is that a word?). I’ve had gay friends of course, but this was simply part of everyday life. No big deal.

Something’s changed.

But something that’s happened within my family has (slowly) made me realise how privileged I am as a cis white hetero woman. I haven’t had to think too hard about what it means to have a “safe space”. Let alone what it means to actually provide one. (I need to note here, in fact it isn’t always easy to be “safe” as a woman, but that’s another topic).

But even I, in my “ivory tower” in Southern France have realised that the time has come to identify as an outspoken ally. What has helped me realise this?

Introducing Alex

My older child Alex is non-binary.

Alex 2025

The world is sometimes not an easy place for them to live in.

Last Summer, Alex took a step forward with surgery and the use of testosterone in hormone replacement therapy. (They’ve permitted me to share this information). Since this time (and before then) I’ve had to make changes in the way I talk about my youngsters. When asked, I say I have two children. Until recently this would be tagged with “one of each”. Now gender can stay irrelevant. Which, I now realise, it is but it’s a social norm to ask and/or tell! And people do ask. And that leads to a conversation about the meaning of the word “non-binary” or in French “non-binaire”.

LGBTQIA+ quandary

When talking about my children, I do my best to make the topic what absolute stars they are (of course!) It would be easy to simply refer to Alex in their previous gender. Why would I do that? To not have to explain yet again what “non-binary” means, and have the pleasure of simply describing what a strong, clever, beautiful person they are! Alex is unlikely to ever meet the person I’m talking to, what harm could it do? But, being true to Alex is being true to myself, so yes, I do use “iel” in French and of course “they /them” in English.

Explaining the pronouns!

One person at a time, to explain the use of they/them/iel/iels

My French isn’t bad, but I still need years more practice! However, I surprise myself with my ability to explain the use of the “iel” pronoun. But explaining “non-binaire” goes beyond the use of pronouns.  I find myself suggesting that even if we can’t empathise with the need to make such drastic changes to our bodies (lucky us) it’s not affecting us, so it’s for us to simply accept those who do feel the need.

And that applies to everyone in the LGBTQIA+ rainbow. Accept, support, be an ally.

For a guide to gender identity terms, take a look here

For the use of pronouns in French, Lawless French has it covered!

LGBTQIA+ Weddings and funerals

My “acceptance” has never been a question. I’ve conducted weddings for all-girl couples. In fact, I got on so well with one couple that they invited me to stay on for the after-wedding barn-dance! I sat at a table of their gay friends (they all met through a dance retreat). One of the guys told me that, despite the fact he’d recently attended a great many weddings in London none was as touching, engaging and personal as mine! (If you scroll down you can find Lise and Harriet’s own comments in my testimonials!)

Lise and Harriet’s relaxed wedding day

I remember a funeral for a gay man in Llanelli which was a flamboyant affair with brightly coloured flowers and plentiful rainbow references.

What does it mean to “Support” the LGBTQIA+ Community?

The Transgender flag

So why haven’t I promoted that I’ll work with everyone, no matter where they are on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum until now? The main way of showing support would be to place flags or badges on my website/social media pages. This seems to be the accepted norm in my wedding community. But I felt queasy doing this since it felt like virtue signalling. Like saying I support a charity without ever actually doing anything for them. Somehow, I didn’t feel I’d earned the support of this community, so why should I have the right to fly their flag?

I now see that “support” IS speaking out. It’s showing visibly that not only am I happy to create ceremonies for everyone, I am also in a position to actively show my support of everyone.

The Progress flag

On a personal level, I will continue to explain to one person at a time why we need to accept. How we can change our language to do so.

On a bigger stage, I will not stand by whilst individuals and governments legislate against whole rafts of our society. I will call out the keyboard warriors who mean harm to our society.

I will fly your flags. I hope you’ll allow me to share them as your ally.

The traditional Gay Pride flag

Ps … The good people at “Cyberghost” have asked me to share a link to their blog giving practical advice “for LGBTQ+ folks who’ve had to delete photos, change numbers, or vanish for their own safety”. Yes, there are other VPNs out there, but this article gives some good advice!

The post Flying the Flags, Our LGBTQIA+ Policy of “Love is Love” appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

A pretty wine box which was full of well-wishes from family and friends pic https://amandine-carrique.com/

The Love Letter and Wine Box Ceremony

Is it really five years ago that I wrote about a Love Letter ceremony? Time flies…..But in all honesty, I quoted the love letter ceremony as being Scandinavian, which it probably is. However, in these days of entente cordiale (don’t get political please, this is a wedding blog), many of our “customs” have become adapted to suit our purposes.

I moved to France after writing my original piece, and have regularly included just such a tradition, but this time I call it a “wine box” ceremony. Now, this doesn’t sound especially romantic, but, as ever, it’s “how it feels” on the day that’s important!

Using a wine box to create a French wedding ceremony custom

So, at risk of being accused of cultural misappropriation, let’s consider why I now refer to this little bit of fun as “French”. Truth is, we’re in France!

Let me explain. A love letter ceremony can use any box, you can take a look at what I previously wrote here. But my ceremonies are now all in France and I’ve yet to create a ceremony for a couple who doesn’t enjoy the odd glass of wine. So, let’s include a bottle of wine and tuck it safely away in a pretty box. By the way, I’ve given up trying to get “genuine French” wine boxes! In this case, Etsy or Amazon is your friend and you can have your wine box personally designed to help commemorate your special day.

So many of my weddings are held within vineyards, the Wine Box Ceremony is perfect! pic https://www.charlenepelut.com/

The Love letter and wine box bit!

So, “what actually happens in this ritual?” I hear you ask! It’s looking to the future, creating a bit of a time capsule. Within your wedding ceremony, we’ll have taken the letters you wrote to each other (or, if you prefer, the personal vows you made to each other, or both) and tucked them safely inside the box. What else could go in? If there are guests unable to make it on the day, how about asking them to write a special note to include? Or ask the guests present to write a message to you both. As for the bottle, this ceremony is in France so ideally a bottle of something local- rosé from Provence, a Minervois Muscat, a rich red from the Languedoc? As long as you’re confident it will “lay down” for the time you want, it’s completely up to you!

This box contained notes from guests, as well as vows and a well-wish from me! Pic https://www.amantis-photo-video.com/

Hammer it home!

It’s not entirely “necessary” but I do enjoy having my couples bang some pins/lightweight nails into their boxes! I’ve read elsewhere that using a wax seal is preferable, but since most of my ceremonies are outside, I’d rather not risk the lit candle required for the job! So, a bit of teamwork as you handle a hammer together is fun, and will help you resist opening the box earlier than planned! (On another, less optimistic note, this can also be referred to as a “fight box” to be opened in tricky times to remind you what being married is all about. Hmm, a bit pessimistic, if potentially realistic!)

The lid doesn’t have to be nailed down, a clip is fine!

So, what’s in a name?

Considering all of the above, what shall we call this ceremony? Love letter ceremony? Wine Box Ceremony? Fight Ceremony? French wine box? In the same way that it’s up to you how you interpret the occasion, the name is up to you. Do me a favour though, just don’t call it the “French Letter” Ceremony (and if you don’t understand the reference, please look it up)!

Why have the wine box in your ceremony?

Picture yourself one, or maybe even five years from your wedding day celebrating your anniversary. Among all the other wonderful things you can do to celebrate your day, you’re going to find a quiet moment, open the bottle of wine you put aside and read the messages you wrote for each other, and those from your beloved family and friends. All the emotions you felt on your day will come flooding back as if it only happened yesterday.

Then you can write another note, replace the wine, and do it all again next year!

Santé!

Remember your wedding day with your wine box!

The post A « French » Wedding Ceremony Custom appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

The thing about setting off on a new life in a new country (albeit with the “old” man) is, well it’s kind of time-consuming! So when, for the first time in my two years in France I thought “I’d better write a wedding blog”, the title that came to mind was simply “Reflecting on a 2023 wedding””. But then, you knew that since you’ve read this far. But what to write about. What do I choose from the last 2 years’ weddings in this beautiful country?

Chris and Louise take a moment to reflect on their day Summer 2023, provence.

It’s the last day of 2023. I’ve got so many memories swimming around I’m struggling to know where to start on my reflection of this year, let alone 2022 as well. “Fun and laughter and joy ever after…” is part of Sir Cliff’s take on Christmas (that’ll be Cliff Richard to you younger people, the song’s Mistletoe and Wine, he played with the Shadows….ok, look him up!)

Anyway, I couldn’t help humming the tune whilst looking at some of my 2023 ceremony pictures. Nothing to do with Christmas, but a lot to do with the vibe at the best weddings. So for now, I’ve decided to blog about one in particular, inspired by the pictures taken by the wonderful Colas at My Blue Sky Wedding.

Chris, the groom awaiting his bride

It’s all about the Vibe

Why this wedding? I could have chosen pretty much any of them, but what struck me about Chris and Louise’s pictures was that in every shot everyone looked utterly engaged with the ceremony. We had no symbolism other than the exchange of wedding rings. There was a chamber orchestra and four people read three readings since one was in both French and English.

One of my favourite moments occurred before the show had even started! As with nearly all my weddings here in France, meeting Chris and Louise felt like meeting old friends after all those hours creating their ceremony – despite never having met them in person. I’d not only poured over their questionnaires dozens of times and spoken to them length on Zoom, I’d also had great conversations with a selection of their family and friends to help weave the tapestry of their story.

The Start of the Ceremony

Louise’s entrance with her father was perfect. In the photos, you can see the love in the bridesmaid’s faces, and Louise’s dad’s pride as he walked his daughter across the lawns.

I like to take time to help everyone settle into the ceremony here in France in particular. After all, everyone has had to travel to get here whether they’ve come from the UK or further afield. We always have a “stop and breathe” moment, to give everyone a chance to relax and be in the moment.

Taking a moment to realise “we’ve made it!”

What’s next in the Wedding?

After that it’s time to introduce the body of the ceremony. In this case, we focussed in Louise and Chris’s beautiful story which started in France. Since I’d spent time talking to both families and close friends, I was able to engage them from the start, teasing the parents about some of the information they’d shared.

I love it when guests participate through readings chosen by the couple or by themselves. In this case, Louise and Chris’s friend Laura read “The Relationship Promise” by Luke Wright. It was an apt reading to start the lead up to their exchange of promises!

Two other readings included “Love is Sharing” skillfully translated by Louise and read in both English and French, and the final poem was “Here’s to Right Now” written by Ms Moem and read by the indomitable Dia, Chris’s grandmother.

As the ceremony progressed, we had smiles,

Laughter such as discussing Chris and Louise’s particular foibles (“I love you despite…”!)

Thought provoking moments,

And hilarity brought on by Chris’s grandmother Dia telling him off for claiming not to be as “cultured” as his beloved! As you can see by those around her, her off the cuff comment went down a storm. Everyone shared the moment as I conveyed what she said to those at the back.

At last, the Wedding Vows

Then came the vows, and they were beautifully written and read by our bride and groom. The joy these two conveyed in finally tying the knot was palpable!

The charm of this ceremony came from Chris and Louise’s story rather than extra symbolism. Though I couldn’t resist sharing Louise’s sens of triumph when she finally wore Chris’s ring!

And so to the final moments when we shared wishes for the future and heard Dia’s reading. “The first kiss” crowned all as we celebrated the love these two have for each other.

Now Enjoy the Rest of the Day!

And so for Louise and Chris and their guests to canapés, dinner and partying for the rest of the day and into the night.

This was one of a number of weddings I’ve had the privilege to celebrate in Provence. I still have to pinch myself to check I’m not dreaming at times. “I’m an English Speaking celebrant in France”! I’ve travelled to Provence, The Herault (where I live), The Aude, The Tarn and even further north into Dordogne. I can’t believe how lucky I am to have been able to bring the profession that I love over the channel with me to France, and to continue starting great wedding days with engaging, as-near-to-perfect-as-possible (!) ceremonies.

As for Louise and Chris, they were very kind with their response to the ceremony.

In an email they wrote;

“Thank you again for your beautiful ceremony! It was so perfect, and we’ve had lots of friends and family commenting that the ceremony was really special because it was so personal. People also really enjoyed the loving despite and loving because section haha”.

And later, “Helen did a brilliant job of officiating at our wedding in Provence and we can’t recommend her highly enough!! She is warm and funny, and a delight to work with in the months ahead. On the day itself we laughed, cried and learnt some new things along the way, it was a beautiful ceremony.”

Which will do for me!

The pictures were taken by My Blue Sky Wedding, 

Venue Mas des Comptes de Provence

Flowers Bujar MORINAJ c/o Mas des Comptes de Provence

Musicians Elegy Quatuor

Videographer (though I’ve not seen the video!) Alexandre Vallee

The post Reflecting on a 2023 Wedding in Provence appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

Aneesha has written this post giving three top tips for finding your ideal wedding venue in the South of France.  You’ll find Aneesha, planner extraordinaire, at Lace & Lavande.

You’re engaged! Yay! Félicitations!

And so it begins 😉…

Now, there’s a pretty good chance that one of the questions at the top of your list is – “Where are we getting married?” Let’s assume you’ve decided to go the destination-wedding route (Yay you!). And you would like to have sunny weather, fantastic food and wine, history, romance… some je ne sais quoi? “Well then!” says this author nonchalantly, whilst daintily sipping (gulping) a glass of (previously-mentioned fantastic) wine, “How about the south of France?” Ok then, France it is! Now, maybe you’ve mastered “Bonjour”, “Au revoir” and “Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir”? Fabulous, well done! If that’s as far as it goes however, to preserve your sanity, hiring a wedding planner might be in order. Make this step one before taking further steps in planning your wedding in the south of France… However, if you’re fluent in French, you could get away with searching for a venue from your home country.

First Kiss with the backdrop of Chateau la Durantie. Photographer Ross Holkham Photography

Tip numéro 01: Prioritize vendors in your budget

Every couple has a unique vision of how they would like their wedding experience to unfold. Therefore, the top 5 vendors on the vendor list tend to differ. So far, in our experience, the venue and the caterer tend to take the top 2 positions on the list. These two also tend to be the most expensive vendors (Quelle surprise!). So once you prioritize your vendors,  making money-related decisions will be a little easier moving forward. Venues in the French Riviera and Provence can quickly go for over 15,000€ for a weekend in the high season ( May to September). So, if that region isn’t your top priority, then perhaps you could move your attention to nearby areas, like Occitanie, for example. You will have sun-kissed skies, delicious food, and wine, along with a lot more choices in venues better-suited to your budget.

Chateau de Canet is a family run venue which you hire for three days of family celebrations in the Aude, Occitanie

Tip numéro 02: When (and for how long) do you have access to the venue

Ensure you have time to get things perfect. Château de Varenne, Sauveterre. Photo credit Claire Macintyre

You’ve now selected a couple of venues that are within the budget limit you had set. What should you look out for next? It’s important to know when you’re allowed full access to the venue as most venues host other events besides weddings. Let’s assume your wedding is slated to be celebrated on a Saturday. However, you don’t have access to the venue on Friday because a seminar is taking place. If you don’t have access to your venue the day before, you could have a problem. This is because you’ll be far more chilled knowing décor (excluding flowers), ceremony chairs etc are ready the day before the wedding. If this is an issue, but you’re still absolutely in love with the venue, you could always ask the venue manager if they could ensure that you have at least half a day before the wedding for set-up. It never hurts to ask 😊! It’s also important to know for how long you will be allowed full access to the venue. Say you’re planning on having brunch the day after your wedding, it would help to know whether that day is included in the price.

Tip numéro 03: Ask about « Droit de bouchon » a.k.a Corkage fee

Tables ready for a french feast at Mas des Comptes de Provence. Photograph Littlewing Photos

Watch out for this one! It could make a nasty hole in your pocket if you aren’t careful. « Droit de bouchon »  (or corkage) is the fee you pay the venue or caterer if you want to serve alcohol other than theirs. This is usually done to recoup revenue lost by the clients not purchasing wine from the venue/caterer. Many venues would request that you buy at least one colour of wine (red/white/rosé) from their wine-list. In return, they would impose no corkage fee. So there you go, folks! Some tips to keep in mind whilst looking for that gorgeous venue in which to say “I do” 😊! I’ll be back with some more tips to help you on your quest to find the ideal wedding venue in the south of France.

Cheers from Provence! photograph my blue sky wedding

Many thanks to Aneesha for creating this blog for us! If you’d like to talk over a wedding in France with me, just jump to my contact page, it’s good to talk!

The post Three Tips to Find Your Ideal Wedding Venue in the South of France appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

 Valentine’s day: a gorgeously indulgent celebration to warm up those dreary Winter months. We all want to make the one we love feel special, but many of us want to look after the environment too. With that in mind, our Valentine’s traditions may need a little tweaking. So, here is my guide: A green Valentine’s Day: show love to your partner and the planet.

How about an indoor-eco-Valentine-fest-for-two?

A little history.

Valentine’s day is thought to have originated from the Roman festival of Lupercalia.  Lupercalia celebrated the coming of Spring and fertility, with women being paired off with men through a lottery system – yikes!

Thankfully, things have moved on a bit since then. Lupercalia was renamed St.Valentine’s Day at the end of the 5th century, and began being celebrated as a day of romance from around the 14th century.

What a waste

In recent years Valentine’s day has become synonymous with plastic wrapped teddy bears, generic flowers and boxes of chocolate. Often, these had little or no sentimental value, and the homogenised celebration was getting to feel tired and impersonal.

Because of this culture, Valentines day generates masses of unnecessary waste and items destined for landfill.

These days, people are looking to do their bit for the environment. The traditional colour of valentine’s day “stuff” is, of course, red. But let’s try and create a green Valentine’s Day!

An eco-friendly Valentines Day

This year, let’s make Valentine’s day thoughtful and personal, whilst showing the planet a little love, too.

Everyone loves flowers.

Did you know that 4 in 10 roses in the UK come from Kenya? Most of the flowers in supermarkets are shipped here from all over the world. They’re also covered in chemicals to keep them ‘fresh’ during their long transit.

A beautiful bouquet of UK grown dried flowers

Choose a greener, more personal bouquet this year, by using resources like Flowers From The Farm. Flowers From The Farm is a not-for-profit co-operative of British growers. It is designed to link you up with a British-grown florist near you. Simply pop in your postcode and find your nearest grower. Look at the amazing bouquet below, created by Sara at The Flower Meadow! Or, how about the one above which featured on Flowers From The Farm’s site?

My local grower, Sara from The Flower Meadow in Carmarthenshire put this bouquet together on 11 February!

Not only is this great for the environment, it also means you’ll get access to beautiful, unique flowers. You won’t find these in supermarkets or with online mega-stores.

Pack a picnic.

Okay, so we can’t guarantee you a sunny, or even a dry day. But, if you’re lucky enough to see blue sky on Valentine’s day, pack a picnic and head for the great outdoors. Ditch the plastic plates and wrap your own in tea towels for a real sense of occasion. Don’t forget your wellies!

Wrap up warm, you’ll be fine!

Ready, set, BAKE!

Sure, chocolates are nice, but we all know something a little more personal is better. Whether it’s coffee and walnut cake or gooey brownies, get baking your partners favourite treat. Present them on a pretty plate and enjoy with a cuppa, cosied up on the sofa. Reducing plastic waste and saving money – win-win.

Lovingly made, delicious muffins. Yum!

Renew your vows.

Looking to make a big, romantic gesture? What says ‘I love you’ better than saying “I love you”? Plan a vow renewal or celebration-of-love ceremony for the two of you.

Karen and Will release their doves at their vow renewal

Make a memory book.

We all have hundreds of photos on our phones and devices, but how often do we stop and look at them? Print a selection of your favourites and collate them in a book with notes. You could even do this together on the day. This is an opportunity to remember all the memories you’ve made together, and is something you can keep forever.

So there you have it, a few ideas for a more personal, eco-friendly -or “green” – Valentine’s Day!

Enjoy!

Helen x

If you’ve had the excitement of a proposal this engagement season, make your wedding an intimate and personal affair with a celebrant. You know where to find me (here!).

Be original. Keep it simple!

The post How can I make my Valentine’s Day Green? appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

Take your time to create a letter to stand the test of time

Full disclosure, I wrote this five years ago in 2019, and there are now a few tweaks! But, the ceremony remains the same. Since moving to France we’re as likely to use a “Wine Box Ceremony” as a “Love Letter ceremony” but they’re variations on the same theme!

Imagine reading a love – letter from your much beloved which they wrote on your wedding day! Imagine reading it on your first wedding anniversary? Or maybe within the actual ceremony, aloud – if you’re very brave! The basis of a love letter ceremony is just that – putting your thoughts on paper for your loved one. Then your heart-felt letters and will be locked away for safe keeping within your ceremony.

This ritual is filed under “symbolism”. However, there’s nothing “symbolic” about reading a love letter in front of your friends and family – it’s real!

It’s what you do with the letter afterwards that makes this cute ritual more or less meaningful. And it’s this which creates a “Love Letter Ceremony”

Lock your Love Letter away

Exchanging letters is a small ceremony-within-the-ceremony, just like Cocktail-making, sand-pouring, hand-fasting, candle-lighting and so on. Some people refer to this as an Icelandic tradition. This “Icelandic tradition” sometimes includes letters from parents and other family members. Couples don’t read the letters on the day, they lock them within a box to be read on anniversaries. As well as letters, you can put in all sorts of other bits of memorabilia from your wedding day. You could even tuck away a bottle of wine (make sure it’s “laying down” quality!). I talk about this elsewhere, calling it a “wine box” ceremony.

Even the least romantic can get all mushy on their wedding day! So, whilst you’re “feeling the love”, pour your heart out within a letter. Then lock it away to be read in 1, 5, 10, 15 or even 25 years’ time.

Nail It!

When I say “locked”, you can have fun with this! Literally nail the box lid down with a hammer. The celebrant can help, in this way you ensure there’s no cheating before the allotted time. Or, buy a box with integral locks or with padlocks. Or use wax as long as there’s no risk of the candle going out!

Having said that, and on a serious note, you may open the box before the anniversary in a crisis. In the future you may feel your relationship needs some help from your “Just Married” selves. If this is the case, get comfortable, open the box. And open the wine if you included some. Then read those letters together to remind each other what it is that got you together in the first place. This is the reason that this is sometimes called a “fight” box!

A beautifully decorated wine box (NOT “fight” box!)

Love Letters within an Intimate Wedding Ceremony

Part of what’s inspired me to edit this post is that I’ve moved to France and have completed scores more weddings since the “first edition”! I now know that some couples cheat regarding writing those letters! Instead of writing love letters, they place their own vows in a box, be it a wine box or otherwise, and seal those away to look at again on their first anniversary. “Ca va”, it’s still romantic! Not everyone includes friends’ notes. A hint from me is, if you do, close the box properly after the ceremony since not everyone may have contributed before. No matter how hard your celebrant has tried to get them to do so!

Use your own experiences within your letters, write from your heart if it’s your vows

Trans-Atlantic Love Letters

Letters became part of a wedding I was celebrant for many of years ago. It was held in Manorbier Castle, another of my favourite venues. Living on each side of the Atlantic, my couple got to know each other by short messages which grew longer. The letter ritual started with their wedding rings. These had been padlocked to their keepsake box. After they’d exchanged vows, their mothers gave them the keys. They unlocked each other’s keys and exchanged them. Then, they locked their vows in the box as their first letters to each other as a married couple. They also promised to write letters to each other annually to reaffirm their love and commitment. Ahh!

You’ve got this!

Love Letter Hints and Tips

I’ve picked up a few more thoughts along the way to share with you;

• Write your letters on some beautiful acid-free stationery to ensure they last your decades of marriage!
• If you don’t feel you can read your letter aloud, you could ask someone to read it for you (including your celebrant) or read iot in private before the ceremony.
• Write about your dreams for your future – long term (children, pets, home, travel?) and short term (that honeymoon!)
• Include anecdotes to show why you love this love-bunny of yours – the picnic they magicked up when you were fed-up. The troubles of their own they put to one side to celebrate your victories.
• Don’t worry about crossing outs and little mistakes – a hand written letter from the heart outdoes anything typed and spell-checked!
• Keep it short and sweet, especially if you’re going to read it on the day! This is a note to the love of your life, not a Mills and Boon! (Millennials etc – look it up!)

So, you see. Whilst there are a great variety of traditions and rituals to choose from, if you let yourself be guided by your celebrant, you can find something that is very “you” rather than the same as all the others. Good luck, whatever you choose!

Putting pen to paper can be the hardest step, get writing!

The post The Love Letter Ceremony appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

https://www.lovemydress.net/blog/2017/09/stephanie-allin-lace-magical-woodland-wedding-wales.html

In the Lovemydress article, Amanda the bride says, “Our celebrant, Helen from Treasured Ceremonies, suggested a handfasting ceremony – it was a fantastic idea. As Pat played Al Green’s ‘Tired of Being Alone’, the congregation were given cuttings from a spool of ribbon and invited to the front of the tipi to join our hands together. It was breathtaking to be so close to everyone at that moment – I was choked up. The handfasting didn’t only bond Iwan and I, but also our guests. They’re all part of our wider family now. It was the perfect moment and my favourite lasting memory of the day.”

The post Magical Woodland Wedding in Pembrokeshire Wales appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

Part 1 Hand-fasting Ceremony

“Normally I find weddings boring but what you did was fantastic – it really felt it belonged to me”.

Within this article I’m going to share my own experience of a ritual which couples are asking for more frequently than ever,  the “Hand-fasting ceremony”. You may have witnessed a formulaic and dull wedding  – basically one which is the same as everyone else’s. The couple may have added their own prayer or  may even have written some of their own vows, but really? Did it really feel like their ceremony?

A celebrant can make your wedding ceremony “your” ceremony!  By simply by writing a ceremony around you, and your feelings for each other. And adding symbolism can give a whole new dimension to the day.

Is symbolism a “new” idea?  In some ways, it is. But the symbolism and rituals used in such ceremonies are as old as humanity. The great part is, there are no rules and with my help, you can do whatever you want. Let’s take hand-fasting as an example.

What is hand-fasting?

Hand-fasting, or hand-binding, pre-dates modern Christian weddings in our society. The hand-fasting was the centre of the ceremony. In the pagan tradition, a “handfasting ceremony” is the entire ceremony within which the hands are bound in some way.

Historically, a village elder, senior member of the household or spiritual leader tied the couple’s hands in sight of everyone.  This would show to the community that the couple were now married (or, in some cases, betrothed).

There are all sorts of traditions about ways of tying hands and their meanings. I do have one friend who had the pagan traditional ceremony seven years running, as each time they only married for a year and a day. Once tied, their hands had to remain so for 24 hours. You really get to know every aspect of your spouse in this case (think “going to the loo”!). After seven years, they had the legal ceremony and reserve future hand-fasting for renewing their vows.

I often use some sort of “hand-binding” within a celebrant ceremony, and the joy of it is in its symbolism and adaptability.

What’s the procedure?

Most couples have a simple tie or ribbons which they create or find or their celebrant makes or sources for them. Using material from the dress is a great idea, or clothing like scarves and ties which belonged to someone significant in the couple’s lives. I’ve learned much about traditional hand-fasting ceremonies from my colleague – now friend – Georgina Syrett Armstrong-Smith. Georgina inspired me to use the “pagan” hoop and wand hand-fasting method at a wedding ceremony I created.

Handfasting Hoop and Wand Style

This was at Fforest in West Wales and towards the end of the ceremony I produced the hoop and wand and Amanda and Iwan sealed their vows by having their hands tied with red and white ribbons (traditional male/female colours). This “sealed” their hands within the structure, but then guests were invited to tie ribbons on as well. We had thought to only include about a dozen “VIP” guests here in case it got tedious, but soon everyone wanted to join in, and I handed out spare ribbons!

This is from a wedding in the Preseli Hills. Like Amanda & Iwan, they had the hoop and wand but with about 200 guests!

Many guests tied their ribbons whilst shedding a few tears, exchanging kisses with bride and groom at the same time. People left their seats to take photos and the atmosphere was electric. In time, peace was restored, and I raised Amanda and Iwan’s hands whilst still within the hoop, wand and ribbons to “bless” them, explaining how important each other’s hands will be for help and support over the years. They took their hands out of the structure to make their exit, but I noticed its presence in many of the photographs later, and it’s something they’ll keep forever.

This is a simpler form of hand-fasting. In this case the bride had made her own, simple ties. Beautiful and very personal!

Hand-fasting is just one of the many rituals I can show you. My skill comes in weaving it into your ceremony, having your “congregation” (or, “tribe”, or, “chorus”?) feel involved, and – as with everything else – making it personal to you. Watch this space for more wedding symbolism in the future!

Guests tie their ribbons as they wish Saffy and James love and luck for the future

Another completed handfasting hoop with all the guests’ ribbons.

The post Ceremonies and Symbolism; Hand-fasting. appeared first on Treasured Ceremonies.

The cold of Winter can create the most wonderful backdrops for weddings, picture frosty hillsides and glowing hearths. But I can’t help thinking back to the beach weddings of 2016 and reflecting on the sheer fun and freedom of it all. Beach weddings are, of course, only possible with a celebrant, so not only is the venue unique, but also the whole ceremony is written with the couple and surroundings in mind.

Kim and Mark were married on Penbryn beach on August Bank Holiday Sunday 2016. This is a National Trust Beach and the staff were fantastic with the help they gave the couple. There’s also a great café, “The Plwmp Tart”, in the carpark whose services were bought to provide excellent canapés and champagne after the ceremony was over but before the wedding party eventually departed for Hammet House Hotel for the wedding reception proper. Hammet House was also on standby for the wet weather option, but thankfully this proved unnecessary.

The atmosphere on the beach before the wedding ceremony was happy and relaxed as the groom and his gang of groomsmen set the scene by dressing a wire arbour with flowers and flowing white material. Orange and whire flowers bouquets were placed on fencing poles to mark out the ceremony area. The ground where we stood was made stable with matting held steady with stones, and chairs were provided for a few VIPs but the rest were happy to stand. I brought my own PA and had fun testing it whilst last minute touches were made to the “stage”.

As the guests arrived I was delighted to see that, generally, the dress code was as for any wedding; the “best bib and tucker”. The only difference was in the footwear, most of us sporting flip-flops instead of our usual shoes! The groom opted to go barefooted. The children weren’t forgotten, not only did they have the fun of being at a beach wedding, there were caskets of buried treasure to dig for after the ceremony was over.

To start the formalities, we were given a signal that Kim was ready and the guests formed a semi-circle with an “aisle” in the centre for the bride and her father’s entrance. Kim’s smile radiated all the way across the sands, the excitement was tangible.

	The Bride and her father

The ceremony itself focussed on teasing Mark and Kim about how they’d met and developing a theme on their love for each other and for Wales, specifically Ceredigion and Pembrokeshire. Kim’s Mum handled the microphone with aplomb as she read a beautiful piece about marriage. Kim and Mark exchanged rings and made a sand sculpture to symbolise their coming together in marriage, and all the guests contributed by placing a bit of beach sand in before the ceremony started. The colours were those of the wedding theme, vibrant orange and white, which worked beautifully on the day since although it wasn’t cold, the day was a bit hazy. At the end of the ceremony, Mark and Kim signed a certificate to provide a record of their day and one of many photo opportunities!

I hope that the pictures show how much everybody enjoyed the day. It was incredibly relaxed, even the “waiters” from the café joined the fun by wearing bow-ties stylish shirts and trousers! The children were delighted with their treasure and everybody was so friendly and happy I found it hard to tear myself away. Eventually, the whole wedding party went to nearby Hammett House Hotel, and I and my partner went on our way to prepare for the next “Treasured Ceremony”. .

	The Sand Sculpture

There will be another “beach wedding blog”, but until then I look forward to being invited to officiate at more, particularly if they are on one of our wonderful welsh beaches!

Orange and white flowers looked fabulous

	Signing

The professional photographs were taken by https://www.oliviawhittakerphotography.co.uk/ , others on a phone by my lovely partner Mark who showed great patience whilst waiting for me to “tear myself away!”

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